Many Thanks...

This years Thanksgiving was full of mixed emotions for me. We were in Vegas for the holiday and had a great time with family. Jordan and I were not only excited to be with my parents and sister but this was our first holiday spent with my brother and sister in law and their two cute kiddos so we had a great time with them! We were busy and did alot of fun stuff but with that everyday my mind could not stop from going back to the fact that Maddie wasn't there. I knew this holiday season would be hard but didn't know how it would go until I was living in the moment and I have to say it was tough. As much as I tried to put on a "I'm doing great" face, I don't think I hid it that well. Thanksgiving day was by far the hardest. The 27th, Thanksgiving day, marked 4 months of her passing and with those 2 things together my emotions were on edge the whole day. It's so hard, I still hurt, my heart still has a hole in it, but I am so thankful I was surrounded by family.
I am afraid it is just one of the "firsts" we have to experience and hopefully they get better as time passes. But like I said we still had a great time.

I hope it's ok I am showing this picture because my parents are using it for their Christmas Card! But this is all of us and as you can see we are in Albania t-shirts representing my 'lil sis, Brittney, who is serving a full time mission there.

Since my brother and I are going to be with our in-laws for Christmas this year, yes it's my first Christmas away from home, we had our Christmas Eve dinner a little early this year. This was the Sunday after Thanksgiving and my mom, and Alisha, cooked a delicious meal. It was perfect to get us right into the Christmas season.

(Sorry Tyler and Mom, that you got cut out of the pic!)

After dinner my sweet parents had a gift for all of us to open. This ornament is called the "Cheer Drop", it is in the shape of an upside down teardrop and this is what it represents in memory of Sweet Maddie:

This teardrop is a tribute

to your loved one who has died,

And the emptiness and heartache

you're feeling deep inside.

But it also is a symbol

of comfort for your heart,

Taking solace in believing

that our loved ones who depart

From this earth are in heaven,

awaiting with the Lord

That day of love's reunion

when all losses are restored.

Until that time, your loved one

would urge you to take cheer...

For you still have much living

and loving to do here.

-Lisa O. Engelhardt

"May this Memorial "Cheer drop" bring you comfort in knowing that there will come a day when all tears will be wiped away and you will be together with your loved one again."

My parents got one of these for each of my siblings to put up on Maddie's birthday, December 18th, so that we will always have a part of her on our trees during the Christmas season. I loved it, thanks again Mom and Dad.

Of course I couldn't hold back the tears and this is why I look so horrible in this picture and Jordan didn't know he was in the picture, but my parents also got this memory bear for our future children to put in our tree so they will remember Maddie as well. I wish I took a picture of the top of the box it's stored in, you can kind of see it in the picture, but it is engraved with Maddie's name on it.

Thanksgiving was hard but I have to also remember it is about giving thanks and I am so thankful for family who is there to surround me when times like these are hard. And now with the Christmas season here I am so thankful that I can focus on my Savior and his life that makes it possible for me to have hope, comfort, and peace that everything is ok.